photos of photos

People tend to keep photos digitally these days, but I like having them printed out.
Sometimes when I remember I will sit down and write on the back of them about where and when they were taken.

Today I was looking back on some photos and decided I would write on the front of them.

The swag was like a body bag - and kind of freaked me out I have to admit, and the bottom of the creek out the back of the in-laws place is super slimy and also kind of freaked me out.

The Art Journal - Page 3

THIS IS WHY... continued.

These pages face each other and so I thought it would be good for them to share a theme.

My husband is not an overly sentimental fellow. (understatement)

One day though, I know that I will be glad that I have bothered to write/create/spew these books, because it will help him, and our children, and their children (if they last that long) to know me, and perhaps even him, better.
It certainly isn't my primary motivation, but with one little kiddie-winkle running wild on this world and another one kicking my internal organs (even as I type this), it seems like a nice thought that one day they'd be able to look at these - my creative spewings - and get to know me at 27.

This page has... a wonderful drawing from Ky and Gabe during church, a photo of the boys in Raro, a rubbing or a lino cut plate, and more paper off cuts. (Art journaling is a great way to get rid of scrap paper!)

I also sewed some things on with wool.

Use photos in your pages!These boys are my favourite people, who are yours? Make a page about them! Art journaling is a lot looser than scrap booking and there really are no rules.

Some tips:

• Try sewing things on. If the paper/card is thick, stab the holes first with an awl. 
• Make your own paper - with stamps, leaf rubbings, drawings, hand prints...
• Alphabet stickers are awesome. I know I was all like 'love your handwriting' and you should, but variety is good too. 

 In other news... my camera is no good at taking photos of flat things - like pages of art journals. The edges are ALWAYS blurry.

a rant

Time really does go by much faster than I ever remember as a kid. 

Days must seem incredibly long to Gabriel.

Day length seems variable, based on what I have to do/want to do, and whether or not it is raining.
I have been art journaling and putting together what I hope will be a useful little course for people to download (once I get some decent not blurry photos!!) in the coming months.

Restrain your excitement.

After finishing watching all of Stargate SG1 and then Stargate Atlantis, Ky and I turned to The Walking Dead. I LOVE zombie movies, so I figured that it was only a natural progression for me to appreciate this tv series as well. I have to admit though that after passing the midway point of the second series I am disenchanted, and depressed by the characters having their moral strength chipped away by the obviously heinous circumstances.
It's not that I can't appreciate the realism of the psychology of the whole thing, but I like seeing people succeed, rise above circumstance, maintain their courage in the face of adversity, pull together through trials... you know, all those good things.

This is probably why I love B-grade action movies so much... as a general rule they are resolved in an incredibly redemptive way. Perhaps not realistic, but I don't necessarily watch television for reality.

That's why I can't sit through Battlestar, because the characters are so real, their issues so real, and all together its all just very annoying.
I want to escape for goodness sake!

Anyway, after all this blathering about television, here are some of my other thoughts for the week - it is Wednesday after all, and while I am running out of lungs to cough up, sickness can't keep me from updating my blog... or complaining about tv.

 I miss my daily jogging path around Raro.

 Disappointment tastes bad.

Look at how little my baby looks! This was taken a year ago... 

Wednesday Words - July begins

Thursday 28.06

  

Friday 29.06

 

Saturday 30.06

 Sunday 01.07

  

Monday 02.07

Tuesday 03.07

Wednesday 04.07

Madness is the gift that has been given to me

Several years ago while living overseas I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Once upon a time it was called manic-depressive, which is a very descriptive name because you get manic, and you get depressed.

To be honest, I think that being happy and sad is just called: LIFE, but for some people it's a lot more intense to the point that getting by becomes a real struggle, that decision making is impaired and for some it seems like there is no way out.

For me, its all about knowledge. Knowing that I had a disorder meant that when I was overwhelmingly sad and unmotivated I didn't go searching for a reason why I should feel bad, (exploding any perceived faults in myself into reasons why I was a terrible person who deserved to feel bad) instead knowing that it was a sign that my hormones were out of whack, that I needed more sleep, that I needed to exercise more, that I needed to take on less stress, that I needed to eat better, or all of the above.

No! don't listen to the crazy goth in the skull mask!!

My case is quite mild, and yet there are weeks when I really have to convince myself that having a shower isn't just an okay idea, but mandatory. Those weeks/months/whatever really suck, but they are manageable.

It's different for everyone and I can't speak for anyone else who has additional struggles like this.

Why bring this up?
Last week I found an old sketchbook which had survived the culling process I went through a year or so ago when I threw out anything and everything related to a very dark time in my life.
It was full of drawings, words and some depressing (but witty) haikus. Haikus were my favourite way to get things out...

I was surprised at how detailed and creative my art was, how full of colour and symbolism, and it was obvious that a lot of time had gone into the creation of some pages.

I was impressed with my creative work ethic.  Frankly it bordered on the obsessive.

I was slightly saddened by the recent (the past three or more years) slackening of this intense creativity (I believe its called MANIA hahaha.) but this was overwhelmed by the complete rejoicing I  felt in the fact that I couldn't even remember the last time I was as low and full of self loathing as I had been then.

The nicest part of the whole experience was tearing up dark memories, and realising that the place I am now, was where I had hoped to be then. That the work I did at the time, the efforts I went to, the sacrifices (which seemed so huge at the time) were all in the right direction, because they led me to a place where I am happy more often than not, and capable of being the master of my own emotions (most of the time... pregnancy doesn't help with that!)

So goodbye crazy Eleanor, and hello manageably crazy Eleanor. (I don't think that's a word) The differences might appear subtle but they make all the difference.
Now I just have to get back that creative drive, without the late nights, the obsessive movie watching and emo brooding.

To life, to life, l'chaim!

Merci pour l'aventure.

Pixar created one of my most favourite love stories when they made 'Up'. Of course it doesn't hurt that Ellie and Carl is very similar to Ellie (me) and Kyle (my husband) but asides from the name similarities, their story of loyal, enduring and life changing love puts the movie up there with my favourites. I used to just sit and watch the montage of Ellie and Carl's life together because it's definitely one of my favourite montages - even though it's sad. (really sad)

Ellie's love of life, despite never getting to South America as she had planned as a girl, her happiness in her marriage (despite the bitter sadness they both must have felt when dealt the cruel blow of infertility) and most of all the way she viewed all of these things, small and big as adventures - is all a great inspiration to me. 

You can tell how much she valued her life experiences, her memories, and her time with Carl, because she recorded it. 

Wah! Such a wonderful thing to leave behind. So full of love and fond memories and moments and all those good things that you want to remember about life. How I would love to get my hands on similar creations (if such existed) from my grandparents/parents/friends/whomever. 
As a side note, this is another one of the reasons why I feel so strange and melancholy about seeing family photos and albums in second hand and vintage stores.


I totally cry nearly every time I watch Up (Its strange, but I cry more about animated movies than I do about others... hmm) 

The point though is that I often feel that things are far too mundane in my life to deserve recording in anything by the briefest of notes. I think that it would help me as much as anyone, to record things as the adventures that they are. (Small though they may be) So in the coming months you can expect a lot more journaling, tutorials, scrapbooks, art and photos as I try to capture some more, try to be more grateful for, more productive with, and do meaningful things with the life that I have. 

And just to be clear, my whole renewed energy in this is not entirely supplied by a wonderfully rendered animation, but also by some of the other more diligent record keepers in my life - like my mum and mum in law, a certain graceful ballerina I know, and others. 

I do know people in real life. 
Just sayin'.

"Thanks for the adventure - now go have a new one! Love, Ellie"